The 2WW

Well, I finally made it, the dreaded 2 week wait!!!!

Little embaby all snug inside me...PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)!!!

There were times that I worried that I would never get this far...Now I'm here I have something new to worry about!!

Such a strange feeling to think there is a tiny embryo, the beginings of a new life inside me.

I knew that it was a good 8 cell, grade 1 embaby, but i immediatly started worrying, would it survive? Would it grow?

People told me that I should relax, take it easy, enjoy PUPO, er...right...how exactly do I do that?!!!

I tried the bedrest, that lasted all of an hour, i tried reading...well that lasted approx ten minutes! There was no way I could concentrate on anything.

I settled for watching stuff on the laptop. I took it really easy, but then felt guilty for just carrying my laptop upstairs...was I doing too much?!!! I worried when watering the plants, i worried about sneezing & coughing...despite being told not too.

Luckily I had my birthday to distract me. A few of us went out to lunch at Castle Howard. As a child, every birthday I had was stonkingly hot (being in June), the past 5 years it has pissed it down, in torrential stylee. This year...beautiful. A few people said it was a good omen, i didn't dare believe them.


When having the transfer everyone who looked at my notes commented that it was my birthday in 2 days and what a wonderful present it was to have such a healthy embaby. I felt blessed to be PUPO but the dominant feeling was fear, terror, scared that it wouldn't work.

Thank God for Zita West, for her relaxation CD kept me as calm as was possible under the circumstances, and for the allotment. Every time my mind got a little crazy, i went up there and relaxed in the peace & quiet.


So the first week over, fuck...that dragged. I imagined the 2nd week would be even worse. Wrong....it was speeding by at an alarming rate, zooming towards the pregnancy test. I was tempted to test early and luckily was persuaded not to for fear of a false negative. On one hand I wanted to know, to be put out of my misery, on the other I wasn't ready for the dream to be over. I needed more time, at some points I wished it had been a 3WW!

At 10dpt (days past transfer)I thought it was over. I had the tiniest amount of brown CM, my heart sank to my feet. Was it all over? I reasoned that it couldn't be my period, I was on far too many drugs for that. ( I suppose I should mention my drug regime, 3 pessaries a day, another one at bedtime up my bum and 3 tablets of oestrogen)

I immediatly went to Twitter and tweeted my concerns, pretty quickly i was reassured that it was probably implantation bleeding and a good sign...phew...but I was still worried, with a little hope thrown in...

When imagining the result I forced myself to see myself reading 2 lines, telling my family 'yay it worked', typing BFP on my keyboard....PLEASE let it work....

13dpt I couldn't wait any longer....I took a test